16 Reasons It’s Financially Stupid To Retire on a Cruise Full Time

So you enjoyed a fantastic cruise to the Caribbean — the pampering, the food, the entertainment. Why not retire there? You can enjoy luxury and indulgence 365 days a year — and at a stellar price of around $150 a night for a cabin room.

Many retirees do some quick math to reach outrageously “cheap” yearly figures and decide they can avoid wasting money retiring on dry land compared to afloat on the high seas.

But reality check: it’s not. Here are some often overlooked reasons that it’s ill-advised to retire full-time on a cruise ship.

If you really want to up your travel game, you could retire in Thailand and live high on the hog for under $2,000 a month to save money on travel. That’s far less expensive than a year on a cruise ship.

While activities are plentiful aboard a cruise ship, your personal square footage is not. Small cabins start at 85 square feet, and spacious ones top out at around 220. Did you work hard all those years to downsize to a walk-in closet?

Cruise ships are built for hustle and bustle. While the rooms have noise-dampening features, they're not soundproof. According to other ocean-going travelers, you can hear foghorns, door slamming, and toilets flushing.

If a good night’s sleep is priceless, how much should you pay for the privilege of hearing everyone else around you live it up while on vacation?

Usually, there are only a couple of restaurant options. This means you have to eat what’s on the menu. Since travelers generally go on cruises to indulge, the dining-room fare is often quite decadent. 

A high-sodium, high-fat, and high-sugar diet doesn’t do great things for your blood pressure or waistline.

Most cruise ships have limited passenger facilities, if any. Schlepping heavy laundry baskets to and from the laundromat isn’t relaxing — especially on a moving ship. 

You could nix self-serve laundry altogether and have your wash hired out, but that gets expensive.

Nursing homes are so expensive that, at face value, cruise ships look like a bargain. But that assertion makes no sense.

Firstly, if you’ve reached the point where you need to live in a nursing home, you’re not physically healthy enough to board a cruise ship, let alone live on one. 

And a nursing home’s hefty price tag isn’t for room and board — it’s for round-the-clock care from a team of nurses and medically trained staff.

Do you want to be able to make T-ball games, piano recitals, and potluck dinners? Or do you want to be shuffleboarding at a different port of call every night with strangers? You may feel lonely on a cruise ship over time.

Cruise ships advertise a fraction of what you’ll wind up paying. The room and meals make the trip look like a great deal, but you’ll pay extra for soda, alcohol, internet, and dozens of other fine-print charges.

Indulging in a nightly cocktail could cost you an extra $5,000 a year.

If you’re voyaging with a partner, it’s more affordable because cruise lines usually quote per-person rates for a double occupancy room. And if you’re coupled up and able to enjoy the discount, this means sharing your closet-size cabin with another body.

An oceanline cruise is only doable if you’re in good health. There are some medical facilities with a physician, but care options are limited.

If you have medical insurance, it often won't cover cruise-ship care, which means purchasing expensive, travel-specific health insurance.

You may have heard that Medicare will cover cruises, but this is only partly true. You can receive some coverage if you’re within six hours of a U.S. port, otherwise nada.

Cruise life is a bit of a novelty, and all novelties fade. After you visit your first few ports, you may lose interest in disembarking. Too much hassle — especially when all those open-air markets and sandy beaches blur together.

While not Titanic-level formal, most ships hold formal dinners and expect guests to dress appropriately for the evening, which may mean collared shirts, cocktail dresses, and dinner jackets.

On some cruises, shorts, flip-flops, tank tops, and swimwear are not permitted in dining areas.

With so many people living together, cruise ships are incubators of disease. You don't want to catch ailments like strep throat, pink eye, and influenza.

Assuming you don’t live in a beachfront Malibu mansion with a fleet of servants at your beck and call, living full-time on a cruise is more expensive than living full-time on dry land in the U.S.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average 55+ household spends less than $57,000 each year in total expenditures. However, sources suggest that living year-round on a cruise would cost a little more than $77,000.

One cruise-trip retiree, Steve D., says he averages $90,000 a year in total costs.

Cruise ships often dock in busy port cities. It’s loud, noisy, and stressful, especially if you disembark and then need to go through the reboarding process again. 

You’ll constantly need to consider the boarding times, immigration forms, waivers, and customs. There are easier ways for a stress-free retirement.

Retirement at sea is not a “cheaper” or easier alternative to a traditional, dry-land one; it requires careful consideration and planning. 

If you're worried about your retirement readiness, consider moving abroad or to a more affordable city in the U.S. But beware, you may have to use the extra savings to fund airfare to and from your family.