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11 Things You Do When Tipping That Servers Secretly Hate

A little empathy for your servers can go a very long way.

By Cat Lafuente

Edited by Calista Headrick

Updated Feb. 12, 2026

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There's nothing wrong with trying to stretch your restaurant budget, especially when costs feel sky high across the board. That might mean choosing lower-priced menu items, skipping appetizers or dessert, or sitting down at more affordable places to dine.

Servers understand that everyone has a budget when they go out to eat, and that includes tips. Still, it's important to treat the people who bring your food and drinks with respect and to avoid these common tipping mistakes that can leave a bad impression when dining out.

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Claiming you can't afford to tip

Dining out can sometimes cost more than you expected once all your dishes are totaled. Still, diners generally know that tipping is part of the overall expense.

Claiming you can't afford to tip after the fact is especially frustrating for servers. Many would argue that if you can afford to dine out, you can afford to tip.

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Tipping on the bill before tax

Some generations may recall Emily Post advising folks to calculate tips based on the bill's total before the tax is added.

While this isn't a make-or-break issue, more common etiquette dictates calculating the tip based on the bill in its entirety. Your server will no doubt appreciate any extra funds, no matter how small.

Tipping less than 20%

While opinions vary, often landing between 15% and 20%, many servers agree that a solid tip starts at 20%.

It's worth remembering that servers often earn below minimum wage, with tips making up a large portion of their income. Leaving less can mean they're not fully compensated for their hard work.

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Not tipping more when your table makes a mess

Servers understand that dining out with a large group or young children naturally creates extra work, from taking multiple orders to clearing a messier table.

But when your party leaves more cleanup than usual, tipping above 20% is a simple way to acknowledge that extra effort and show appreciation for going the extra mile.

Leaving a tip in coins

At the end of the day, money is money, as long as it can be deposited. Still, tipping primarily in coins can come across as rude to some servers.

When possible, it's more considerate to tip in cash or on a card, sparing them the inconvenience of lugging around loose change.

Tipping poorly for problems outside of their control

Your server's job is to be attentive, prompt, and polite. However, some aspects of your meal, like how the food is prepared or tastes, are beyond their control.

Withholding a tip because a steak is overcooked or a salad is overdressed ends up penalizing the server for an issue they didn't cause.

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Tipping poorly after not speaking up

Even the best server can't fix a problem if they're never made aware of it, so it's important to speak up when something isn't right with your order.

If you choose not to say anything, lowering the tip afterward unfairly punishes your server for an issue they weren't given the chance to fix.

Not understanding that tips may be pooled

Many folks don't realize that tips are often pooled at restaurants and shared among servers, bartenders, and support staff.

To that end, leaving a poor tip to "send a message" may negatively impact multiple people who worked hard to make your meal delicious and your service pleasant.

Tipping to express interest

Tipping should reflect how well the job was done, nothing more, nothing less. Servers understandably get frustrated when customers miss that point.

That includes tipping less because a server didn't respond to inappropriate advances, for example, or implying you gave a tip based on their appearance rather than their service.

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"Tipping" in compliments

Complimenting a server for a job well done is often appreciated, especially when it's genuine and fitting for the situation.

That said, kind words don't replace a tip, even with the most sincere sentiment. Gratuities are a core part of a server's income, not a bonus for flattery.

Not tipping whatsoever

Unless the service is truly terrible, there's rarely a good reason to skip tipping altogether. Servers rely on that money to cover their bills, just like everyone else.

If something isn't right, speak up and give them a chance to address it, but don't withhold pay over a minor issue.

Bottom line

Tipping well shows respect and fairness, signaling that you understand how restaurant work actually functions. Being mindful of these faux pas makes sure that you properly pay servers for their hard work.

If you're trying to balance your food budget, don't adopt one of these habits. Instead, focus on areas like saving money on groceries or dining out less often, rather than shortchanging service staff. Your fair tip supports workers, keeps dining culture thriving, and makes the experience better for everyone involved.

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