11 Lessons I Learned From Being Flat Out Broke

I've been painfully broke twice in my life, and each time I learned more about myself and how to manage money — and lower financial stress — than from any finance guru.

The first time was during college when I was studying in Paris with no credit and very little cash to spend. The second hit much harder. After 18 years of a successful real estate career, I moved out of state and switched to business writing. Going from sales commissions to part-time hourly work on the West Coast was a shocking wake-up call.

Here are 11 things my financial struggles taught me about what really matters.

As a student in Paris, breakfast and dinner were included in my board, but I had to guard every cent for lunch and transportation throughout the month.

I watched fellow students buy cigarettes, coffee shop treats, and souvenirs without thinking twice.

This taught me how quickly you can spend money if you're not watching. That doesn't mean denying myself things I can afford, but it does mean spending consciously.

It was easy to stay on budget in Paris. When I was out of cash, I was done spending.

During my career change, I had to make deliberate choices. I kept my internet service but cancelled cable. I maintained my car insurance but switched to a cheaper grocery store. I stopped buying new clothes.

I learned that smart budgeting includes identifying what adds value to your life.

I'm pretty easy to entertain. As a student, I was busy and had a free pass to Paris' museums.

During my career change, I had to get creative. I watched free YouTube videos instead of subscription shows. I read books from the library. I hiked local trails and enjoyed time with friends at home or in nature.

I realized entertainment spending had been a default rather than an optimized choice.

When I was in sales, I ate out almost every day. Food was about convenience.

I had never learned to cook and knew nothing about meal planning and prep. At first, I was opening cans and boiling noodles.

Today, I prefer cooking at home to eating out. I get healthier options catered to my taste at a lower price point, and experts say you save hundreds a year cooking at home.

Nothing prepared me for the shock of going from a comfortable real estate income to a part-time hourly wage while I built up my new career.

A tank of gas went from a thoughtless swipe to a budget consideration.

I learned how gradually lifestyle inflation happens and how it's easy to be comfortable overspending. I'm far from perfect with my budget, but I am (usually) intentional about it.

During my career transition, I took whatever work I could find. I drove for Uber, worked shifts at Trader Joe's (those people are amazing; it's physically demanding), and took office temp work.

Remarkably, I got my first stable agency client while driving Uber. I met someone looking for a writer who gave me a trial.

These jobs were humbling, but I learned that doing what it takes delivers what you need.

In college and the two decades following, I never realized how lucky I was. I remember helping a friend whose $60 fix-it ticket had escalated to nearly $1,000, wondering how someone could be so irresponsible.

Living on the edge is a different feeling. One unexpected disruption and you fall through the cracks.

I learned financial security means having the reserves to weather disruptions. It's not a cushion; it's a safety net.

When my freelance writing career was finally up and running, I made a classic mistake. Fifty to 70 percent of my income came from a single source. I admit, I was complacent and stopped prospecting.

When they lost several big clients, my income dropped off a cliff.

This taught me that diversification is a survival strategy that applies to income sources, skill sets, and any area where concentration creates vulnerability.

I was a people-pleaser, but was forced to decline invitations I couldn't afford. At first, I apologized and explained. Eventually, I learned that "No, thank you" is good enough.

It turns out that being able to say "no" is a useful skill. In work situations, I learned to negotiate scope creep, protecting my time and energy.

It improved my relationships and self-respect. Real friends respect clear (and kind) boundaries.

I would love to tell you that I used credit responsibly during my career transition. I learned to eventually, but at first, I was adapting to a steep decline in lifestyle and used my credit cards to prop me up.

The biggest danger is the magical thinking around "when my income picks up."

Overusing credit made my life harder than it needed to be. Credit doesn't solve a lack of income.

We live in a consumer culture, and it's second nature to participate. My periods of being flat-out broke showed me how much of what I was buying was superfluous.

After living on a budget for several years and selling much of my stuff to move across the country, I enjoy the ease and peace of being (relatively) clutter-free.

I still overbuy sometimes, but I know better than to believe in retail therapy.

Being broke twice made me absorb the financial advice I'd heard and read. I learned first-hand the difference between needs and wants and experienced the confidence of knowing I can survive on less.

We're taught to think that having more is better, but research shows that spending money on experiences and education creates more and longer-lasting happiness than buying stuff.

I'm grateful for what my struggles taught me, especially the cooking skills. Now that I'm doing better financially, I can see how those lessons shaped me. Sometimes the most valuable education comes from having no money to waste on anything but what matters.