10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Tax Preparer Unless You Want to be Audited

If you've ever been audited, you don't forget it.

In my 20s, I was audited three years in a row. The first year, I owed a small amount. The following year, they sent me a refund. And the year after that, I got paid again.

I made about $38,000 a year, lived in overdraft purgatory, and combed through car cushions for loose change.

Those three audits were farcical, and I wound up coming out ahead by a few dollars. I remember drowning my indignation over tallboys, smugly thinking, "What a waste of manpower."

Now? I've respired my "aspirational" bookkeeping of yore; it creates far too much financial stress. Instead, I work with an accountant.

And in honor of tax season and tax professionals, here are 10 things you should never casually say to your tax preparer – unless you want to get audited.

"I didn't keep the receipts"

Round numbers are suspicious. A neat $5,000 for travel or supplies reads like fiction, or at the very least, unreliable guesswork.

Expenses require documentation, and telling your preparer that these are rough figures puts them in a bind.

Instead, reconstruct what you can from bank and credit card statements before your appointment. Give your preparer something defensible.

"That was 100% for business"

Claiming 100% business use of a vehicle or phone is rare, and perfection percentages are audit bait.

Be honest about personal use. A realistic allocation is far safer than a too-good-to-be-true claim.

"I run it for fun, but it loses money"

If your "business" hasn't turned a profit in years and you describe it as a passion project, you've basically labeled it a hobby. Hobby losses aren't treated the same way as business losses.

If you intend for your hobby to be a business, document your profit motive: marketing efforts, separate accounts, and growth plans.

"Can we just backdate that contribution?"

Asking to backdate paperwork crosses a glaring ethical line. Most preparers will refuse — and some will fire you as a client.

If you missed a deadline, ask what your legitimate options are. Sometimes, there are legal remedies that don't require you or your preparer to commit tax fraud.

"I made a tiny bit of cash on the side"

There is no such thing as "off the books" income once it hits a bank account or funds your lifestyle. Cash mismatches between income and spending can raise flags.

Report all income. Let your preparer help you deduct legitimate related expenses instead of guessing or aggressively overclaiming.

"Girl Scouts cookies count as a charitable donation, right?"

Charitable giving is wonderful. Fudging the numbers is not.

Purchases made to non-qualifying charities do not count as write-offs, and yes, this includes that box of Thin Mints cookies. Even if the organization you're buying from donates a portion of its earnings to non-for-profits, it's still not a donation.

Claims that are large relative to income, without records, can also be problematic.

Keep bank records and written acknowledgments when required. For tax purposes, generosity is best when backed by paper trails.

"My home office has a bed"

The home office deduction requires exclusive and regular use. If your desk shares space with holiday guests or a Peloton – even if used purely as a clothes drying rack — then it's not truly a home office in the tax-deductible sense.

If it's not a clearly defined workspace used only for business, nix the deduction altogether. Or move out the air mattress and exercise bike.

"I don't have a mileage log"

Mileage deductions require records. Recreating a log after the fact is possible, but weaker than contemporaneous tracking.

Use an app or spreadsheet and log trips as you go. Plenty of free apps exist.

And you've heard it before, but it bears repeating: no, you can't deduct the miles you drive to and from work as part of your regular commute.

"Itemize all the way"

In my early audit years, I itemized aggressively despite my modest income. Sometimes itemizing makes sense. Sometimes the standard deduction is simply better.

Run both scenarios. Don't force itemization to "milk" a return.

"We had some unusual expenses"

A few years ago, I got audited. Again. This time as one half of a married couple.

We came out clean from the audit, but a few red flags fueled it. We had maxed out our retirement contributions the previous year and had unusually high medical expenses.

Here, it's a good idea to give your tax preparer a heads-up and share all of your pertinent documentation.

We were not working with a CPA then, but had we done so, I'm confident that we would not have been audited in the first place. I don't think our liability would have changed, but maybe a professional tax preparer inking their approval of an "exotic" return has to carry a little more weight with Uncle Sam?

Bottom line

An audit isn't automatically catastrophic. In my case, I actually came out ahead overall. But the stress, paperwork, and uncertainty aren't worth it — just ask the millions of Americans struggling with tax debt.

The safest path is honest, organized filing. Give your preparer clean records, realistic claims, and full transparency, and let them do their job.

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